Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Wellness: Self Love

Self love takes hard work.Lately I have been feeling a little off balance and wanted to share my realizations with you about how to find yourself, feel more authentic and come back to reality.

"If you can take care of yourself, you can give more to everything else."- Miranda Kerr
Your body and mind need to be taken care of properly otherwise they won't give you the experience that you need in this life. I realized this when I found myself engulfed in what the media and other people were doing, saying and wearing and forgot to slow down and listen to the most important person, myself. I let my feelings of being stuck, unsuccessful, and self-doubt become an excuse to lose motivation for tasks that make me feel good such as working out, eating clean, and positive thoughts. In yoga there is a theory that there are two fighting factors in your head. One is your intuition. The other is your ego. Your ego is that voice in your head that says negative and self doubtful comments to you about your body, life, dreams.. you name it, it will fight against it. Your intuition is that feeling you get when you feel happy, confident, energetic and positive. Meditation, eating clean, and exercise are things that bring us back to our intuition. It is a daily struggle to do the things that help your body because the ego promotes laziness, fear, and self doubt which makes us fail to promote the positive things in life. From this quote I remember the lesson that you need to fight against the ego  to take care of yourself in order to help your body and intuition shine.   

"There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful than a women being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me that is the true essence of beauty." -Steve Maraboli
When I was feeling down about my self worth it caused me to to stop taking care of myself and start admiring others such as celebrities and successful friends. I viewed them as having better qualities, looks and lives than I did. I found myself stressed when I thought about my daily tasks almost as if to think that some people do not have to deal with the same daily stress and self esteem issues. I clearly needed to WAKE UP!  Every person has the same insecurities and daily stress that they encounter every day. The secret to being accepting of your life and achievements is to realize that you can only look within for happiness and that every human is equally as important. You need to fight against those negative feelings. Individuals that you admire have worked hard  to obtain their achievements and with those achievements comes twice as much stress and insecurities to overcome. I have found that when I get stressed because of the fear of failure or overwhelmed with tasks I just sit still, breath, and repeat the idea that absolutely no one is perfect. All you can do in situations where you feel less than perfect is relax, realize your mistakes and decide on actions to take to make the situation better. 

"Non-violence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him." _Martin Luther King, Jr.
Hate is such a strong feeling. Accepting to feel that way is the easy route. I have learned, when I was engulfed in jealousy,  hate and negativity, that holding those feelings against someone only weighs you down. When I am extremely angry or stressed at someone I try to stop, recollect, breath and view their side. I do not judge if it is "right" or "wrong", I only try and understand. The ego tries to make us feel these hateful feelings so that we are disconnected from other people who , potentially, will help us learn a lesson. By accepting the challenge of understanding the other person you may start to see that they are harboring insecurities and stress. Their insecurities and stress actually has nothing to do with you as a person. For example when I started my new job I was hired on with no prior experience. I would become stressed when I was given a bad review and given constructive criticism on how to change. I started to build up resentment against my boss and self hatred to myself. When I took a step back and cleared my head I realized that my boss was only trying to help me complete the work that I needed to get done in order to succeed. I realized that, with no experience, I was doing a great job and working hard. I now take my job step by step and am not afraid to ask questions. Ever since I confronted my fears and stress I have been excelling in my new position. Life is a never-ending learning experience. Apart of learning involves making mistakes and to be accepting of that fact.

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